Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
