Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
