Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
