FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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