why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In America we eat man semen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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