Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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