As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
