I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
