There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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