Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
