Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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