We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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