you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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