he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
