its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
