Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
