dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
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I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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