a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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