so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize