"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
