Where did you get a picture of my penis
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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