Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize