There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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