Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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