Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
