i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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