Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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