I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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