Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All the doctor said was why
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
