I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You are the jesus of drinking
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
