Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
