I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
