i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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