Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Duck Duck Cougar?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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