i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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