What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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