I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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