Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
