dude i'm inner monologue high
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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