your parents love me but you hate me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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