was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
