It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
