i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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