3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
