We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
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I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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