Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize