worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize