the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
