we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
