Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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