I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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