Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
