My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
handjob tips. give me some.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
