You're earring is so big in my mouth
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
