if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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