Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
