make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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